"What, me worry?"

I would wager that I have taken worrying to heights never before achieved. Of course I worry about "normal" things like important decisions, my children, the environment, or not having thanked the hotel manager for his assistance in reserving a room. I suspect worrying is a more common affliction to women than men, and yet, even my female friends have had to encourage me not to sweat the small stuff; to "let things go".


One of the major sources of concern is anything that comes out of my mouth. In particular, I often feel the need for a rewind button on the things I say to my boys. "Did you brush your teeth?, please don't sit on the arm of the couch, don't make fun of your brother's hair, do you have something in mind for your girlfriend's birthday?, your wife's birthday?, did you wash your hands?" A whole litany of unnecessary comments. Thankfully, most of these questions are merely a blip on their radar, forgotten moments after the last syllable has left my mouth.  For other more egregious comments, since there is no rewind button, I handle such situations by apologizing for what I've said. Their way of letting me know that I hadn't bothered them in the first place is to groan. Sometimes now, they are so conditioned to expect an apology that they will save me the effort and advise me in advance that none is warranted.


It's natural to care so much about one's own family, but I worry about casual comments I make to complete strangers. I wasn't kidding about not thanking the hotel manager. Coming into town recently the night of the big blizzard, my son wasn't scheduled to arrive until 4:00a.m. There was no way for anyone to pick him up at the bus station because the roads were so treacherous. Thankfully, I was able to make a reservation for him at a nearby hotel. The two hotel employees I talked with were very accommodating despite the lateness of the hour and the number of stranded travelers trying to reserve rooms. As I finished making the reservation, the manager said "thank you" but I had slipped out of the conversational rhythm. Instead of thanking him, I just said good bye and hung up. Now, it was 4:00 in the morning, so I was too tired to lose sleep over it, but I managed to beat myself up for the blunder for a good 10 minutes.

Wise friends have told me over and over again, that unless I am purposely running roughshod over people, I shouldn't worry so much about what I say. Lately I have tried harder than ever to put this into practice. I am taking baby steps, but think I may be on the right track.


The other day I said something relatively benign to an acquaintance but immediately regretted it. Instead of calling her to awkwardly apologize for a slight she probably didn't even notice, I said to myself, "let it go". And it worked! 

Copyright 2011 KKR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45ZSIeSsmwI
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_E._Neuman