OMGosh

When "texting" first arrived on the scene, I gradually embraced the idea. At first I typed everything out using an excruciatingly slow method, scrolling through each letter individually, until my sons introduced me to predictive text. It was very confusing at first. As I typed the word "good", the word appearing on my phone began with "i - n - n ... what the heck?! I finally took the leap of faith needed to let the phone figure out what I was trying to say. Now that I am somewhat of an expert, (ha,ha)* I am still amused by which words pop up first. What novice would ever guess that typing the word "look" would result in the word "Konk" (and alphabetized, no less)? 


Just when I think I have it figured out, though, my phone does something more disconcerting. It has started to replace words with numbers. I have no idea what I did to cause this anomaly, nor what I must do to fix it. Probably at some point I pressed a button signaling my desire for this to happen. "I'm going to the store at noon today"  translates into "I.m going 86 the store 28 noon today." Before I correct it, "call me when you get home" comes out as "call me 9436 you get good". Essentially, gibberish. I've joked with friends that we should try to decipher messages that we've sent each other without proofreading. 


As if that's not enough to worry about, there's a new challenge in my conversations brought about by the advent of the keyboard phone. If I'm texting someone with that capability I can't type fast enough to keep up with them. 


Sample conversation:


Friend: "What are you up to?"
Me: "Getting ready to do some errands. How about you?" 
Friend: "Yes, me too. Do you have time for coffee later?"
Me: (madly typing) "Yes, but I'm not sure when I'll be.....
Friend: ...their text coming in before I can finish mine.....


Well, with time, I've become more proficient at texting and have managed to work out some of the kinks. I almost never send a text now without quickly proofreading it first. If I expect to have a pretty long conversation with a keyboard phone user I warn them to allow a delay for my responses so our conversation stays in sync.


The main reason for today's discussion, however, is an appeal to all fellow "texters" to come up with some words to replace those used by the younger generation. My three most urgent needs are alternatives for "ha, ha"* (see above), OMG, and lol. Don't misunderstand me; I have no problem with people my age using these terms. It's just that if I use any of these expressions when texting my kids or their contemporaries I get the uneasy feeling that I am trying to be "cool". For example, the other day I very reluctantly texted the term "OMG" to one of my sons because I was in a such a hurry. Typing my usual "OMGosh", would have involved an extremely time-consuming combination of scrolling, spaces and backspaces. Even before I had finished chiding myself for using the term, a text came in from my son. With the refreshing honesty that I expect from all of my boys, his text said simply "please don't say omg". Of course this made me lol. When using the term "lol" for a lack of an appropriate substitute, I feel like I am a mere belly-button ring away from turning into that mother whom everyone criticizes for acting like a teenager. Therefore, I feel we need some "grown up" ways to express certain expressions via text and even through e-mail for that matter. I have tried using one "ha" but that looks like I just forgot to type the second "ha". Instead of lol, I once typed "very funny" but that sounded like sarcasm!!


Anyway, I'm counting on some great suggestions from anyone reading today. The only problem I foresee is that once we come up with some alternatives, we have to use them consistently enough that they become a part of general texting parlance. I can text "ctm" to my heart's content, but unless people know that I mean "chuckling to myself" my crusade will be all for naught.




Copyright 2011 KKR